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Splitting holidays when dating

In addition, try not to judge your parent's new friends. Just as you weren't responsible for your parents' splitting up, so you aren't responsible for their new relationships. That means that many people have been through it themselves, and most probably know someone who has. They'll know that you're still you, even though your family is changing.

Lots of teens worry about breaking the news to their friends.

Don’t say things like “John is making us spend Thanksgiving with his family and there’s nothing I can do about it.” You have a lot of time ahead of you to negotiate holidays, so if you fail to present a united front in the beginning, the pressure will only get worse.

Show both sets of parents that you make decisions as a couple, and that they need to respect your decisions (whether they like them or not). Don’t split up as a couple just to please everyone else!

But for most of you, there will likely be some added stress, uncertainty and hurt feelings along the way. Splitting the holidays can be difficult for many reasons.

First, each of you has certain traditions with your own families that you want to continue to celebrate.

Some teens find it hard to tell their friends and others about their parents splitting up. Sometimes they think their friends will think they are different now, when all that has really changed is their family.

Here are a couple of suggestions: Good friends will be glad you've told them, and will know that you're still you, even though your family is changing.

If you feel sad about losing some of your family's traditions for celebrations, try creating new ones.

It can be hard to think about missing out on those traditions and celebrations, especially if you’re not really feeling the love from your in-laws.

Second, there are a lot of feelings and expectations that go into your decision.

Living part of the time with one parent and part of the time with the other can be a little confusing at first, but it can also be new and exciting.

The first thing you will have to do is to get organized: If your parents have very different rules and lifestyles, you will probably have to do your best to get used to the differences. But again, if you feel that your needs are not being met, say so.

996 comments

  1. Nov 29, 2017 I grew up with divorced parents, and I’ve been dating my now-husband for the past 10 years, so I’m very familiar with “splitting holidays.”

  2. In a perfect world, your relatives and your in-laws would happily spend every holiday together so you'd never have to choose just one family to visit on.

  3. Adrienne works specifically with dating. How To Split The Holidays Between Families. reveals five tips for splitting the holidays with your families.

  4. Some teens find it hard to tell their friends and others about their parents splitting. birthdays and holidays can be. why your parent's dating.

  5. Whether you are single or have just started dating. 10 Tips for Avoiding Holiday Dating Disasters. "Avoid dating till January!" The holidays stress us out.

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