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Before the laughs start, a sweeping feeling of dread is cast over the audience as one member will soon be in need a 36-hour shower afterwards.

They range from the well-known “banana” act, creative methods of drawing, and things that end up in places where they don’t belong.

Sometimes the volunteer will be putting that thing in that unholy place. If he/she is part of the banana act, that banana will be eaten.

The best approach to avoid being picked is seclusion.

There’s a right way and wrong way to attend a live sex show in Amsterdam.

The wrong way doesn’t involve being kicked out of the club or shanked by one the Red Light District’s many pimps, but instead involves “participating” in a way that will haunt the rest of your sad, little life.

Apparently they all put on similar acts, bringing to question of who ripped-off who, but only the Moulin Rouge forgoes the more shocking forms of audience participation (i.e. “Participation” doesn’t involve actual sexual intercourse (there’s plenty of prostitutes surrounding the street for that), but they do involve things that would be difficult to get a loved one to agree to.

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Amsterdam’s notoriously naughty Red Light District has three infamous venues for live sex shows: the Moulin Rouge, the Banana Bar, and Casa Rosso.

All three are located about 100 feet from each other on the impossible-to-pronounce Oudezijds Achterburgwal street in the heart of De Wallen (RLD’s actual name).

It’s the easiest of the theaters to spot with a giant neon-pink elephant dancing above it, an either welcoming or terrible sight depending on the quality of coffee shops attended throughout the day.

Prices are 35 Euro for a single ticket, or 50 Euro for one with four drink tickets included.

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